How to Make Your Marriage Healthy
True commitment means much more than simply committing to staying married. Genuine commitment involves being committed to the growth and best interest of your partner.
“Commitment unlocks the doors of imagination, allows vision, and gives us the "right stuff" to turn our dreams into reality and unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
Without exclusion, every couple struggles with effective communication. Part of the reason is that two people with the exact same communication style hardly ever marry each other.
To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.
Use the five most important words in marriage: “Let’s try it your way.”
“No problem is insurmountable. With a little courage, teamwork and determination a person can overcome anything.”
MEETING EMOTIONAL NEEDS
Discover and then meet the emotional needs of your partner, How? Simple. Just ask!, be observant and be sensitive.
“What is important to a relationship is a harmony of emotional roles and not too great a disparity in the general level of intelligence”
Conflict in marriage is predictable, fighting is optional.
“Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude.”
APOLOGY AND FORGIVENESS
On a regular basis, practice the three A’s of successful relationships: Apologize for something from the past, Appreciate something in the present, Anticipate something in the future.
Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future and never ruin an apology with an excuse. Sincere forgiveness isn't colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don't worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way and time.
CREATING A RELATIONSHIP VISION
Ask yourself and each other this question: “If we knew we couldn’t fail, and we could design our relationship any way that we wanted it, how would we like to be?”
“Vision without action is a dream. Action without vision is simply passing the time. Action with Vision is making a positive difference.”