Everybody gets angry. Every day we hear people say, 'That person made me angry', 'That person made me mad', 'My wife/husband made me angry', 'My boss makes me angry', 'My co-workers/leaders makes me angry'. The truth is, anger is a choice.
“No one can be reasonable and angry at the same time”
I have learned that if you are angry and lash out, you generally don't achieve what you want. Anger is a natural part of life and it cannot be ignored. It must be managed. Amazingly, anger motivated Lee Iacocca to save Chrysler. He managed his anger in a positive way. You can be so angry about a situation that you will actually do something to fix it in a very positive way. You can prepare for action when you are angry. But never forget that you can do both great things and awful things when you are angry.
We all face anger, so how do we handle our anger? First, let's see how not to handle anger. Don't be aggressive. If we handle our anger using aggression we actually hurt people. If you kick the lawn mower or the washing machine, it doesn't make one bit of difference to those machines. Instead, you end up hurting yourself. That is a misuse of anger. Aggression does not alleviate pain. You can become hostile to the point where you hate someone or something.
“No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy / unless you let him.”
But that is not the way to deal with anger. You see, we mainly get angry when something hurts our self-esteem, or stops us from moving forward, when something scares or threatens us. Some of us suppress our anger, others explore, and some punish themselves by taking negatively and looking down on themselves. People become easy prey to all kinds of irrational and crazy behavior when they get angry.
Use anger to control the pain that you are in. Anger and pain blind you, so be aware when anger and pain are approaching. Someone once say, 'He who has a sharp tongue soon cuts his own throat'. Angry makes your mouth work faster than your mind and then you wonder what you have done. It is almost a moment of momentary madness, so learn to control your passion or it will control you.
"Learn to use your emotion to think, not think with your emotion."
The greatest remedy for anger is delay. Realize you are in the middle of pain, hurt, frustration or fear. Sometimes you want to get even, but you have to use your head not your emotions. Take time to think: get in between the pain and the action you are about to take. Think about why you are angry. Ask yourself what outcome you want to achieve. How can you actually get what you want without hurting someone else or yourself?
“Anyone can become angry - that is easy, but to be angry with the right person at the right time, and for the right purpose and in the right way - that is not within everyone's power and that is not easy.” Aristotle quotes
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