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2/18/2010

The Most Common Response To Life Crisis Are Denial, Resistance and Acceptance




The Most Common Response To Life Crisis Are Denial, Resistance and Acceptance

Each one of us faces troubles and crises in life that take different forms and different shapes. For an adult, crises could be facing bankruptcy,  loss of a friend, a death in the family or thinking about death, wondering about the nature of death. For a man, upset at where society is going, experience a desire to change the world for the better or looking into the mirror and you no longer recognize yourself, a crisis could be the loss of a job or desiring to quit a good job, unexplained depression or sadness when doing tasks that used to make you happy. To a teenager, a crisis might be a pimple on a first date, exploring new musical tastes or sudden desire to learn how to play an instrument. In these examples, time often reveals a latent humor in the crisis that we never realized when struggling to overcome it.
Three common responses to crises:
The first is denial. We tend to bury our heads in the sand and hope the problem will somehow mysteriously and painlessly disappear in a short period of time.
“Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.” J. Donald Walters

The second common response is resistance. This is when we fight what’s happening or fight ourselves in a ineffective effort to somehow regain something that is lost.
“The mind commands the body and it obeys. The mind orders itself and meets resistance. Resistance is thought transformed into feeling. Change the thought that creates the resistance, and there is no more resistance.”


The third response is acceptance. We may not necessarily like our situation, but we acknowledge it is real and we are willing to deal with the truth of what is going on around us no matter how harsh or how hard that problem might be.
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” Joanne Kathleen Rowling

“Self-acceptance comes from meeting life's challenges vigorously. Don't numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.” J. Donald Walters

“Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” William James

Denial and resistance generally prolong the pain and delay the resolution of a crisis. In contrast, acceptance of these crises opens the door for us to hope. According to Harrison Salisbury, ‘There is no short cut to life. To the end of our days, life is a lesson imperfectly learned.’ That means, we have to move out of denial and resistance and learn to accept and move on. For me, life is a continual process of change. I’ve learned to be honest, to accept not just my failures and shortcomings, but also my strengths.

It has been said that the pace at which we learn is in direct proportion to our determination to rise above uncertainty and go beyond the limitations. Part of learning is to become responsible for our own lives and actions. Whether you like it or not, you are ultimately accountable for your action and decisions, regardless of circumstances.

John Keats said, ‘Failure… is , in a sense, the highway to success, inasmuch s every discovery of what is false leads us to seek earnestly after what is true’. When you live in denial and resistance, you delay finding out what is actually true.

Challenge yourself:

Do not live in denial, do not keep resisting: learn to accept and move on. Make sure you are the kind of person who moves on to acceptance and therefore on to change.
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