Rating Yourself As Friend

A true friend is one who knows all about you and likes you anyway. A friend is someone who helps you up when you're down, and if they can't, they lay down beside you and listen. A friend is one who takes me for what I am. A friend is a hand that is always holding yours, no matter how close or far apart you may be. A friend is someone who is always there and will always, always care. A friend is a feeling of forever in the heart. And if your friend does evil to you, say to him, ''I forgive you for what you did to me, but how can I forgive you for what you did to yourself?'' And the glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it's the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friend.

Do you reach out to others rather than always expect that they will call or come to see you? Do you reciprocate? 

“When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there”

When you meet others, are you open to the possibility that they may become future allies, confidantes, best friends? 

“My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.” Henry Ford

Do you approach others with an attitude of acceptance and interest? 

“The greatest gift that you can give to others is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.” Brian Tracy

“Acceptance of others, their looks, their behaviors, their beliefs, bring you an inner peace and tranquility -- instead of anger and resentment”

“When you're a beautiful person on the inside, there is nothing in the world that can change that about you. Jealousy is the result of one's lack of self-confidence, self-worth, and self-acceptance. The Lesson: If you can't accept yourself, then certainly no one else will.”

“Understanding is the first step to acceptance, and only with acceptance can there be recovery.” Joanne Kathleen Rowling

Are you a good listener, or do you claim more than your share of the airtime?

“A good listener tries to understand what the other person is saying. In the end he may disagree sharply, but because he disagrees, he wants to know exactly what it is he is disagreeing with.” Kenneth A. Wells

Do you refuse to become the only nurturer in the relationship?

One of the greatest titles we can have is "old friend". We never appreciate how important old friends are until we are older. The problem is we need to start our old friendships when we are young. We then have to nurture and grow those friendships over our middle age when a busy life and changing geographies can cause us to neglect those friends. Today is the day to invest in those people we hope will call us 'old friend" in the years to come.

“A loving relationship is one in which the loved one is free to be himself -- to laugh with me, but never at me; to cry with me, but never because of me; to love life, to love himself, to love being loved. Such a relationship is based upon freedom and can never grow in a jealous heart.” Leo F. Buscaglia

Relationships-of all kinds-are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open hand, the sand remains where it is. The minute you close your hand and squeeze tightly to hold on, the sand trickles through your fingers. You may hold onto some of it, but most will be spilled. A relationship is like that. Held loosely, with respect and freedom for the other person, it is likely to remain intact. But hold too tightly, too possessively, and the relationship slips away and is lost.

Are you loyal, and do you guard your friends’ secrets?

“A friend is one with whom you are comfortable, to whom you are loyal, through whom you are blessed, and for whom you are grateful.” William Arthur Ward

Do you practice unsolicited acts of kindness?

Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and understanding.

Do you live an authentic life based on your values and beliefs?

Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve

in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.

Can you ask for and grant forgiveness? 

"Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hate. It is a power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness. Friendship flourishes at the fountain of forgiveness.” William Arthur Ward

Can you listen when a friend tells you that you’ve hurt her, or do you withdraw or get defensive?

A friend is someone who helps you up when you're down, and if they can't, they lay down beside you and listen.

“Friends are helpful not only because they will listen to us, but because they will laugh at us; Through them we learn a little objectivity, a little modesty, a little courtesy; We learn the rules of life and become better players of the game” Will Durant

Do you encourage other people to develop their strengths and graciously help them overcome weakness? 

“Our duty is to encourage every one in his struggle to live up to his own highest idea, and strive at the same time to make the ideal as near as possible to the Truth.” Swami Vivekananda

Other people may be there to help us, teach us, guide us along our path, but the lesson to be learned is always ours.

“It is better to keep a friend from falling than to help him up”

Can you enjoy a friend’s good fortune-whether in marriage, motherhood, or career-even if you aren’t on a parallel track?

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.

“The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.” Ashley Montagu

Next Article: How To Be A Good Friend... 

Overcoming Depression and Discouragement

"Do not brood over your past mistakes and failures as this will only fill your mind with grief, regret and depression. Do not repeat them in the future."

1. Be active. Physical activity can lift you out of depression. Be active and enjoy the outdoors, especially when it's sunny. Avoid too much television or too many passive activities. Activity energizes.

2. Be social. Surrounding yourself with people, especially positive people, can keep your mind off your problems and distract you from feeling sorry for yourself. Social interactions help pull you from your depression.

“The practice of patience toward one another, the overlooking of one another's defects, and the bearing of one another's burdens is the most elementary condition of all human and social activity in the family, in the professions, and in society.” Lawrence G. Lovasik

3. Do fun activities.When you are depressed you don't want to do anything; nothing sounds enjoyable. But getting out and doing what you used to enjoy will improve your attitude and after a while you will have fun.

4. Write out your feelings. Emotions trapped inside you increase depression. Getting them out on paper can release the internal pressure. Write about your anger, grief, confusion, loss, stress, or anything else that's bothering you.

5. Surround yourself with positives. Fill your life with positive people, positive music, positive books, and positive situations. Stay away from negatives. Positive make you feel better, and you feel better the depression loses its grip.

 “Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a self-starter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don't waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.”

6. Check out your negative self-talk. Listen to what you're saying to yourself. If you are saying negative things about yourself, your world, or the future., it will make you feel worse. Putting a positive spin on life will make you feel better.

 7. Make plans and dreams for the future. Dreaming about the future can be exciting. Make a list of all the things you wish to do in the future and then plan how to make them a reality.

8. Develop your faith. Faith in God provides hope. It lifts a person above the frustrations and traumas of life. It also gives meaning to our existence. Faith pulls a person above depression and provides perspective to difficulties.

“To love means loving the unlovable. To forgive means pardoning the unpardonable. Faith means believing the unbelievable. Hope means hoping when everything seems hopeless.” G. K. Chesterton 

9. Get help if the depression persists. Meet with a pastor or priest if there are spiritual issues or a counselor if there are emotional problems or a physician for medication. It is a sign of wisdom and courage to seek help if needed.

10. Eat healthy. Eat plenty of fruits and vegetables. Avoid caffeine, sugar, junk food, and especially alcohol.

11. Get enough sleep. Exhaustion adds to depression. Sleep refreshes the body and uplifts the spirit. But too much sleep can be a sign of avoiding important issues that can get you depress.

12. Visit your physician. Depression might be a symptom of a physical problem. Hypothyroidism, an amino imbalance, or a viral infection can all cause depression.

“Remember, always give your best. Never get discouraged. Never be petty. Always remember, others may hate you. But those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself.” Richard M. Nixon

You have it easily in your power to increase the sum total of this world's happiness now. How? By giving a few words of sincere appreciation to someone who is lonely or discouraged. Perhaps you will forget tomorrow the kind words you say today, but the recipient may cherish them over a lifetime.

Dealing With Anger

“Anger is only a natural reaction; one of the mind's ways of reacting to things that it perceives to be wrong. While anger can sometimes lead people to do shocking things,it can also be an instinct to show people that something isn't right.”

1. Admit your anger. If you're angry, be honest with yourself about it.


“Acceptance of others, their looks, their behaviors, their beliefs, bring you an inner peace and tranquility -- instead of anger and resentment”

2. Evaluate your anger. Ask yourself, "What triggers my anger? When am I most likely to feel anger?"

“When you are offended at any man's fault, turn to yourself and study your own failings. Then you will forget your anger.”

3. Choose your perception. Slow down and put the problem in perspective. Frame the situation in as positive way as you can.

“You will not be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.”

“Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind. Anger will disappear just as soon as thoughts of resentment are forgotten.” Buddha

4. Calm yourself down. If your anger is getting out of control, lower your voice, sit down, and breathe deeply. If you still can't calm down, remove yourself from the situation.

“The more anger towards the past you carry in your heart, the less capable you are of loving in the present.” Barbara De Angelis

5. Watch your words and actions. When you're angry, it is easy to say and do things you will later regret. Watch carefully what you say; once those words are out of your mouth, you can never take them back.

“ Let this become your key - next time when anger comes, just watch it. Don't say, “I am angry.” Say, “Anger is there and I am watching it.” And see the difference! The difference is vast. Suddenly you are out of the grip of anger. If you can say, “I am just a watcher, I am not anger,” you are out of the grip.” Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh

6. Work your anger out. Anger produces adrenaline and adrenaline seeks release. You need to work your anger out. Go for a drive, weed a garden, chop wood, write a letter, or take a walk.

“It is wise to direct your anger towards problems -- not people; to focus your energies on answers -- not excuses.” William Arthur Ward

7. Talk about your anger. Take responsibility for your feelings. Be direct and honest without blaming or attacking. If you're overreacting, admit it. The better you can communicate about your anger, the more you can control it.

“As human beings we all want to be happy and free from misery… we have learned that the key to happiness is inner peace. The greatest obstacles to inner peace are disturbing emotions such as anger, attachment, fear and suspicion, while love and compassion and a sense of universal responsibility are the sources of peace and happiness.” Dalai Lama

8. Don't let the sun go down on your anger. Commit yourself to resolving your anger as soon as possible. Unresolved anger turns into bitterness, revenge, or both. The sooner you handle your anger, the better.

“The greatest remedy for anger is delay.” Seneca

“When anger rises, think of the consequences” Confucius

9. Seek help. If you anger persists or is out of control, get help immediately. To to a counselor or a pastor or a physician and develop a more intensive plan.

“In times of great stress or adversity, it's always best to keep busy, to plow your anger and your energy into something positive.” Lee Iacocca

“Anger and intolerance are the twin enemies of correct understanding” Mahatma Gandhi

If you have any question, suggestion or comments, You are very much welcome to place your comment here.

How Our Attitude Affects Us

Our attitude at the beginning of a job will affect the outcome of the job more that anything else.

“Ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.” Lou Holtz

Our attitude toward life determines life's attitude toward us.

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude, to me, is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, the education, the money, than circumstances, than failure, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness or skill. It will make or break a company... a church... a home. The remarkable thing is we have a choice everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it. And so it is with you... we are in charge of our Attitudes.

“I believe the single most significant decision I can make on a day-to-day basis is my choice of attitude. It is more important than my past, my education, my bankroll, my successes or failures, fame or pain, what other people think of me or say about me, my circumstances, or my position. Attitude keeps me going or cripples my progress. It alone fuels my fire or assaults my hope. When my attitudes are right, there is no barrier too high, no valley too deep, no dream too extreme, no challenge too great for me.”

“The problem is not the problem; the problem is your attitude about the problem”

Our attitude toward others will determine their attitude toward us.

“You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you.” Brian Tracy

Before we can achieve the kind of life we want, we must think, act, walk, talk, and conduct ourselves in ways characteristic of who we ultimately wish to become.

“It's easy to let life deteriorate into making a living instead of making a life. It's not the hours you put in, but what you out into the hours that count. Learn to express rather than impress. Expressing evokes a ''me too'' attitude while impressing evokes a ''so what'' attitude.” Jim Rohn

The higher we go in any organization of value, the better the attitude we'll find.

“Take charge of your attitude. Don't let someone else choose it for you.”

Holding successful, positive thoughts in our minds will make all the difference in the world.

“Attitude is the way you mentally look at the world around you. It is how you view your environment and your future. It is the focus you develop toward life itself.”

If we always make a person feel needed, important, and appreciated, he or she will return this attitude to us.

“Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” Brian Tracy

Part of a good attitude is to look for the best in new ideas. So look for good ideas everywhere. We will find in the most wonderful places: on the bumpers of cars, on restaurant menus, in books, in travel, out of the innocent mouths of children.

“Good work habits help develop an internal toughness and a self-confident attitude that will sustain you through every adversity and temporary discouragement.” Paul J. Fleyer

Don't broadcast personal problems. it probably won't help you, and it cannot help others.

Don't talk about your health unless it's good.

“Our attitude towards others determines their attitude towards us.” Earl Nightingale

Radiate the attitude of well-being. Don't be embarrassed to share visions, desires, and goals.

“How you look at a situation is very important, for how you think about a problem may defeat you before you ever do anything about it. When you get discouraged or depressed, try changing your attitude from negative to positive and see how life can change for you. Remember, your attitude toward a situation can help you to change it -- you create the very atmosphere for defeat or victory.” Franco Harris

Treat everyone with whom you come in contact as a fellow member of the human race-with all the rights, duties, and privileges thereof. The Golden Rule still applies: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

“Every issue, belief, attitude or assumption is precisely the issue that stands between you and your relationship to another human being; and between you and yourself.”

Do You Have This Traits Of Entrepreneurs?

DRIVE - a high degree of motivation

“Success is almost totally dependent upon drive and persistence. The extra energy required to make another effort or try another approach is the secret of winning.” Denis Waitley

COURAGE - tenacity and persistence

“Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill

GOALS - a sense of direction

“The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.” Mack R. Douglas

KNOWLEDGE - and a thirst for it

“There is one quality which one must possess to win, and that is definiteness of purpose, the knowledge of what one wants, and a burning desire to possess it.” Napoleon Hill

GOOD HEALTH - taking care of one's body

“To keep the body in good health is a duty...otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”

HONESTY - especially intellectual

“Treat those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and be also honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained...” Lao Tzu

OPTIMISM - positive attitude

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” Helen Keller

JUDGEMENT - knowing the wise from the foolish

“Good judgement comes from experience. Sometimes, experience comes from bad judgement.” Christian Slater

ENTHUSIASM - excitement about life

“The worst bankruptcy in the world is the person who has lost his enthusiasm.” H. W. Arnold

CHANCE TAKING - willingness to risk failure

“Chance can allow you to accomplish a goal every once in a while, but consistent achievement happens only if you love what you are doing.” Bart Conner

DYNAMISM - energy

“Strong lives are motivated by dynamic purposes; lesser ones exist on wishes and inclinations.” Kenneth Hildebrand

ENTERPRISE - willingness to tackle tough jobs

“The basic rule of free enterprise: You must give in order to get.” Scott Alexander

PERSUASION - ability to sell

“Character may almost be called the most effective means of persuasion.” Aristotle

OUTGOINGNESS - friendly

“The secret of happiness is this: let your interests be as wide as possible, and let your reactions to the things and persons that interest you be as far as possible friendly rather than hostile.” Bertrand Russell

PATIENT YET IMPATIENT - patient with others, yet impatient with the status quo

“There are three secrets to managing. The first secret is have patience. The second is be patient. And the third most important secret is patience.” Chuck Tanner

“A man does not mind being blamed for his faults, and being punished for them, and he patiently suffers much for them; but he becomes impatient if he is required to give them up” Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

ADAPTABILITY - capable of change

“Adaptability: A wise man adapts himself to circumstances as water shapes itself to the vessel that contains it”

PERFECTIONISM - desire to achieve excellence

HUMOR - ability to lough at self and others

“Nobody says you must laugh, but a sense of humor can help you overlook the unattractive, tolerate the unpleasant, cope with the unexpected, and smile through the day” Ann Landers

VERSATILITY - broad interests and skills

“Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways.” Samuel McChord Crothers

CURIOSITY - interested in people and things

“We do not believe in ourselves until someone reveals that deep inside us something is valuable, worth listening to, worthy of our trust, sacred to our touch. Once we believe in ourselves we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight or any experience that reveals the human spirit.” E. E. Cummings

SELF-IDENTITY - self-esteem and self-sufficiency

“An individual's self-concept is the core of his personality. It affects every aspect of human behavior: the ability to learn, the capacity to grow and change. A strong, positive self-image is the best possible preparation for success in life.” Dr. Joyce Brothers

REALISM/IDEALISM - occupied by reality but guided by ideals

“True realism consists in revealing the surprising things which habit keeps covered and prevents us from seeing.” Jean Cocteau

“Words without actions are the assassins of idealism.” Herbert Hoover

IMAGINATION - seeking new ideas, combinations, and relationships

“Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand.” Albert Einstein

COMMUNICATION - articulate

“Skill in the art of communication is crucial to a leader's success. He can accomplish nothing unless he can communicate effectively.”

RECEPTIVE - alert

“When people are smiling they are most receptive to almost anything you want to teach them” Allen Funt